Dzul's birthday :)

I ruined it. I ruined his birthday surprise :(


So it fell on the week after raya, which was quite a hassle since we just got back from kampung. I was worried in case Ayah decides to prolong our visit there. Fortunately, we arrived home in KL a day before his birthday. So I had my plans spread out.


Nussow was one of my accomplices. We had many alternative plans, cause we had to switch according to situations. And out of all feared spoilers, my parents had to make me stay at home! I bought cupcakes and his birthday gift, coordinated with Nussow and got Dzul on track to fit in my plan but I wasn't permitted to go out. Not even for a freaking hour!

I don't even wanna remember how devastated I was that day. Dzul told me how depressed he was that he couldn't spend the day with the one who he wants to be with most. I felt worse! The guilt, the anger, the regret, the longing feeling for time to turn around... Oh I couldn't apologise enough to him. I would be saddened myself to not have celebrated my birthday with my couple. It was a hard challenge for us both. I cried hot tears and threw pillows all over the place, hated being refrained. I couldn't stop begging and apologising to Dzul. And I heard him sob on the phone that night. It broke my heart :'(


When we next met in Malacca, I know I had to do something to reimburse the depression I cost him. Well, we both very well know what happened and how'd it turned out so let it remain as our memories. Although it was a belated gesture, I bet he loved the surprise and little celebration. Oh, and here's what I got him, well, us, actually :)

Amel !

Nain !

Our babies! Hehe the ever famous DooDolls! He keeps the red one, and I keep the orange one. He named his, Amel. Therefore I named mine, Nain. Just to pair them/us both :P




Anyways, I'm sorry to spoil your first birthday with me. I'll make sure I don't get the birthday I want when it's mine soon. Haha an eye for an eye. May you live long, may we stay long, and may Amel & Nain brings us closer ♥

Would you be my girlfriend?

Ahaha the title's cheesy much, I know. So yeah. He proposed :D


'Twas our first real date. A nice Tuesday in a blessed fasting month. We were both in KL for the eid holidays. I wanted to buy raya accessories and stuff, so he was very well prepared to accompany me. No other intentions, or so I thought :)

Mid Valley was averagely packed that day. We usually fight and bicker about little things around us. There's so many things to argue when you're with someone so defensive,pessimistic and strong-opinionated like him. Hehe. He's my handsome version of a devil's advocate. Yes Dzul, I just called you handsome :) But exclusively on that particular day, we talked about similar preferences and laughed on the same jokes; which by the way means, that usually when a joke comes around, the other would think it's less funny. Ugh -.- So we were blissfully laughing and walking side by side, happy to be in each other's company. As I walked in and out of shops looking for bracelets and stuff, he followed me around WITHOUT complaining, which was an utter surprise for me. Then it came the time for us to head back home.

This is after I conteng conteng his arms with our names! :D

Whilst waiting for the KTM to KL Sentral, I was nagging to him lah how trains are so lembab and tiring for us to wait for. He just smiles while listening, not even an attempt to shut me up. When a train arrives, other than me sighing "finally" aloud, we approached the nearest coach that stopped from where we waited. I didn't know why he was so annoyingly slow-walking towards the opening of the train. There were humans thrusting inwards the coach so he was being skeptical to join the human stuffing. So I sighed again as we watch the train leave us to wait for the next one. As I turn my back to take a seat, he was already seated, taking my hand as I sit.


The next thing I know, I was officially his girlfriend. And smiling ear to ear. With a red Lovely Lace rose in my hand. All I recall was him being impressed with versatile face expressions I can spontaneously come up with :P Honestly, I expected him to pop the question soon, but not as flattering. It was a nice well-done heart-felt surprise. Never done by any other guys in my life. I fell hard for you, Raja Dzulqurnain :)





May we last long, sayang ♥

Thanks for today, dear. Thanks for waiting, thanks for walking and teman-ing me shopping, thanks for making me laugh all day, thanks for the rose you surprised me with, and most importantly, thanks for proposing and making us official, you have no idea how much it means to me :)I love you Raja Dzulqurnain ♥
And so I posted this on my Facebook Wall as soon as I got home! :D

September 7th, 2010 and counting :)

I respect thee, Russel :)

Daniel Russel a/l Mohanraj. Senior. UPG boss. Best friend's boyfriend. And definitely a friend of my own :)

I still remember how I thought life in MMU was perfect, until I came to a point where everyone thought I've changed and despise the fact that I hang out with the wrong type of people. Petrene bashes me out on this, Luqman, Abg Bob, Hajar and everyone hates the fact that I keep on disappearing and the fact that I changed my ways of talking,acting,missing my classes,etc. Culture shock, I might say. But now all these things are straightened up since I'm keeping my friendship with the UTeM boys for real. I thought I kept it cool and strong enough although deep inside I knew I was frantically worried about my unconscious behaviour and changes. Don't break, Mell, don't break! As I was sitting in front of Siti Hasmah's that evening, he just had to join me. And out of nowhere, I just felt like telling him everything. Things that I don't even tell my girls. And he broke me to tears. Effortlessly. Those tears made me feel sooo much better right after. By then I knew that I'd need him :)

I always thought of him as a senior. Or just another guy in MMU that shares a mutual friend with me, which is Debra, of course. But there's a reason we crossed paths anyways. I meant to get to know him. And he's there to lend me pieces of advise or merely just hints of ways I should be thinking, handling or rationalising things. No offence Daniel, but he resemblance lotsa my dad's traits. Or maybe the respect I have of him mirrored him to Ayah padahal he's just being him alone. :)


Whatever it is, I look ahead to take in what I can to pursue what I can't see in me from Daniel's tunjuk ajar. Every one's presence in another one's life may have a certain reason, therefore I'm taking what comes most from you hehe. Thanks for being there/here !

RD ♥

Raja Dzulqurnain bin Raja Perdaus. 19 years old. UTeM. Teman tapi mesra :)

So we met at Emerald Park. It was Mad (M Arif Daud) who brought us together. And the rest of his housemates and friends. He was quite shy and speechless at first. Then when he asks for my number, I didn't see a reason not to. So I said 'whattheheck bagi je lah' and I did.Luqman got quite jealoused but initially that was the whole point. Until got to know that Dzul was much much more worth the rebound character :)

We texted, we hung out for lunch and dinner around the area. Before it came to fasting month, his friends and himself asked me out for movies and McDonald's so I took the risk of going out alone with seven guys at a time to Dataran Parade. I find them fairly trustworthy (cause you can't trust random guys that much) and very very funny! Ughh I can't get enough of their jokes and humour. It was nice to hang out with a bunch of loose chillax group of boys once in a while :)


I felt like I've known them forever. Like we were high school friends. Or friends from hometown. Or we could've been friends from the same varsity, but we aren't. Yet it feels very much like it! Since the outings,dates and teasings, Dzul and I were inseparable. Then again I got close to Gor (Ahmad Fadzlee Azizi) too. And also Mad. But they always had wanted me to be closer and closer to Dzul. I wonder why :)


We flirt with each other like strangers, and we fight like lovers too. At one point I got confused of our status together. But I do make an emphasis about our first base friendship still. Then one day when he went back home to settle his PTPTN, we chatted on Facebook. That was when he first told me. That he loved me :)

I knew we had a spark somehow. I was in great dilemma by then, being involved with a third person. *sigh* Considering that he also once told me that he left his exgirlfriend due to long distance and other doubts of relationship they had. And the fact that we've only known each other for only a month or so. I couldn't jump into another relationship believing that he really really loves me. Anyhow, I told him love shouldn't be rushed at, but to be developed and we should get to know each other even deeper. So he agreed :)


Came to an understanding of his that when two people are sure of their feelings and affection, you're considered an officiated couple. But nooo, you know how I am, a relationship should be sealed with a deal. Changing our relationship status on Facebook to be together ain't a way of it. "He shall ask for my hand officially, with pre-permissions of my closest friends". And tell the world how much he loves me hehe. Than I will call myself his girlfriend :)

 So I shall wait, Raja Dzulqurnain ♥

Meet Petrene :)

Petrene Susanna Peter. One of the things I love about her. Her name. Petrene came from Peter and Irene; which are her parents. How sweet is that? I still can't get over it :)


Yes, once upon a time, and I deeply hope still is, my gay partner. She has my deep dark secrets. She knows what it's like to be really curious. She teaches me how to do stuff. She's my official partner in crime. And only she knows what I'm talking about :)))

Another that makes me love her, she's so spoiled, that sometimes she's almost demanding all the time. What do I love about this? She makes me feel needed and important. That if I'm not around, she'd die somewhere. But instead, THAT proved how vain I was. Until at a certain point, I realised that it was I who needed her. Not the other way round. It doesn't make sense? Well, it took me awhile to realise that it's not about being dependant or reliable to anyone, it's about taking responsibility towards the commitment in your friendship. Petrene made me realise this. After eighteen years of living. True they say, a friend in a part of your lifetime may change your whole perception of something, just with his/her presence..

So yeah, she's pretty and sexy. Ever so attractive, all guys of all races were lining up for her. But one guy came up front and steal the spot, Salleh Ghazi. Which in return, stole our spots; Petrene's friends. Haha. He's such a doll, I mean, the right boyfriend I'd vote for Petrene to have. He's definitely one of my favourite. But I guess I might need another blogpost to just talk about him and not in this post, aite? So, look out for next posts :P

Oh oh I looove her Sabahan accent, just as much as I love Debra's, and especially the fact that she teaches me Sabahan/Kadazan words. Like, patak-patak, or tapuk-tapuk, or tentelor, loloi, pukitai, tapun, susu kacang (oh no, Debra taught me that -.-), getek, and having bah's instead of lah's. On our first basis of early friendship, Debra had to translate every Sabahan phone conversation she had. I'd be left gawking listening to her talking in thick Kadazan accent, but now I'm so used to it that sometimes even I blurt out my fake Sabahan accent :P

Petrene, I love you, you know that kan? And I know you love me too. That's why you always look out for me. You always give me advise and encouragement, (and most of the time discouragement, so that I would rise up to the challenge and prove myself). You never EVER would judge for who I am or who I become. Even if it took only a couple of weeks for me to change, you always knew the part that I always am and always be. And you know what makes me think that we're true friends? It's because we've only met 9 weeks ago, babe. 9 weeks ago. And I'm still looking on to months and years to come. I hope no matter how much time you spend with Velove and Yvonne, or even how much I disappoint you on different levels, you'd still know that I need you, cause for all you know, I might be 'younger' than I seem. I love you, don't leave me :')