Am I ?

Am I that SEPET ??
People (that i know) would come up to me and say "Hey, Sepet!". All that i'm able to do is "Ha Ha Ha" and roll my so-called-sepet eyes. As i'm squeezing myself through a crowd and as everyone's ready to say 'Cheese',the kind and overconcerned photographer stops and says, "Hey Mell, bukaklah mata sikit!" and the whole crowd roars into laughter. The picture ended up with me looking pale and disturbed. Haha. Lawak lawak. If i'm at the mall or somewhere,my friends would go "Eh pegang Mell, nanti dia hilang kang susah nak cari" when a big group of a Chinese family passes by. At my dorm, when i'm inserting my contact lenses, my dormmates would stare and says "I wonder how did that big of a lens can go through your eyelids?" Damn am i that sepet?

Am I that FAT ??
"Hey Gemuk,how's it going? Sehat nampak.." Shit. The most menyakitkan hati greeting ever. If you think you're cute saying that or you think you make me feel cute,i'd answer a big NOT. Okay? Yeah,it is true that girls do concern about their size. There,i said it. Sorry girls for revealing the thing that we deny all the time. The thing is we do care what people see of us. Fat or thin or short or dark. It has something to do with encouragement and self esteem. Just shut the fuck up and look at yourself. You're a girl too so why say things that yourself hates to hear? Huh. Tak pahamm. Walaubagaimanapun, i do admit that i love eating and i get hungry almost all the time especially when i get bored. So takdela put them at fault entirely cause i ternak all that fat myself. Hm apa apa lah. Hahaha ;D

Am I that VULNERABLE ??

"Ala kau mintak je topup dari Mell,confem dia bagi..". I kind of overheard this and it was heartbreaking. I thought when someone asks credit or any kind of financial help would mean that they're desperately in need of help. Since whatever i have on me or in my pocket is just a loan from The Creator,which i should share with those in need, i tend to give 'em away when someone asks for it. Well, they pinjam, but if they claim that they couldn't payback, i've to act "it's okay" and smile about it. But instead i had to cut on fried chicken when i'm eating at the canteen or hold myself back from having ice cream in the evenings just because i become short financially. I give because i thought i was helping others, only until a good friend of mine told me i was being taken advantage on. I put myself in self denial mode. Kesian la diorang, i thought. Only until i heard what i wrote at the first line of this stanza. How sad that people would have the cheek to manipulate someone to get what they want. I'm not taking anything back, i'm still ikhlas, tapi korang pikir sendiri la apa nak jadi ngan korang. The best slap in the face would be this remark: "Sape suruh kau baik sangat." So don't call me a bitch when i'm one in the future.

I have to learn to say NO.

I guess tu je kut. Kalau ada lagi i'll add 'em in my future posts. *Kenapa ayat cakap macam perasan ada orang follow your blogs neh?* Bhahaha ;D